Are you a satanic villain, or are they?
“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, will when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
–Abraham Lincoln’s first inaugural address, March 1861
Less than Fifty days until Election Day in November, and then Friday, as if this year had not been tense enough, exhausting enough, divisive enough, the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the immediate commitment to replace her before the election just amplified the divisive politics up to 11.
The year twenty twenty was already historic. The turning of the wheels of change are uncomfortable to those who live through it. They can be times that bind a people closer together, a time when people look out for each other, identify with others through a common humanity, and a time for the social safety net mechanisms to show value. Many changes that define the American experience emerged from such times. If you look, there are many positive signs. The social fabric is weakened, but it is holding… so far. Listening to many voices today, you wouldn’t think we have anything in common with more than half the population.
Which brings me to ask the existential question, to quote Mr. Rogers, Who are the people in your neighborhood? Are they enemies or friends?
We just don’t seem to see each other clearly as people anymore. With all the labels and conspiracy theories right now, it is a struggle to get beyond the labels. We must strive to see that “we are not enemies, but friends,” towards “the better angels of our nature” as Abraham Lincoln said.
News Flash: We seem to have forgotten that we usually actually DO know our neighbors and who they are. We know those people consciously or unconsciously woven into the fabric of our lives pretty well. If they are often forgotten, that is because your unconscious trusts them. Even those down the street in that other enclave. Like you, and me, they are flawed, but good people going about their lives. They are worthy of our baseline trust and respect. In our day to day lives, we do trust them.
We also seem to have forgotten that we have more in common which unites us than actual differences that divide us—if we choose to see it that way. You may not know all their deepest thoughts, but you “get” who your neighbors are through all those passing, casual interactions. Actually, we know many people at a gut level better than we understand. We know those who comprise our community through multiple common interests, work, commerce, and activities. The people who we know are kind, compassionate, empathetic, and love their families and communities—so where are all those terrible people? We are more than our politics, more than our beliefs or the group identities we embrace. These truths are why I believe strongly in the power of a community. It is harder to play the “us” vs “them” game when you share a post office, a grocery store, and local governance. Social media has warped that common sense.
By extension of knowing our neighbors, and our own community, we know our countrymen better than what we are being persuaded to believe right now. Suddenly there seems to be a lot more of “them” and fewer of “us” in the U.S., and “they,” we are told, are out to ruin “our” way of life. I think this is an assumption worthy of extended prayer or meditation.
How is it that we became fearful victims believing the evil intents of our neighbors, countrymen and fellow humans so easily? How is it so many people take hateful propaganda designed to persuade us as reality over what they see? Such perceptions have been constructed to divide us, to believe that “they” are terrible, and not like us. The construct of “They” is meant to dehumanize those others. To what purpose? Such talk is a precursor to disrespect. To violence. To license to override the equal protections under the law. This is being done to steer us to tribal parties, into our subconscious fears, and to cling to certain media, to stories about policies that we are told, to carve an angle, and to persuade us out of thinking for ourselves or seeing for ourselves.
Exercise: So place a neighbor down the street in your mind. Or the guy who owns the sandwich shop you like, or the gal who owns the coffee shop you frequent. They just put a yard sign for the other party up, or you saw their bumper sticker. Do you jump to the conclusions in the following paragraphs? Or is the cognitive dissonance between what you know about your neighbor or that shop owner through your years of layers of actual interactions too much to override? Do the following statements strike you as too dramatic — i hope so, but you can hear them if you tune to certain channels and conversations? Which image do you defer to? I moved to a small, rural town because I wanted to know people. Today the noise is making me question what, if anything I know about the people I’ve spent decades around, so which of these versions is true?
Democrats: Your neighbors are outright white nationalists, racists and undereducated idiots. They support the most corrupt, transactional president in a generation, and they really want all those fringe groups to become the new norm. They like the President’s behavior. They think an international pandemic is actually a hoax for political purposes. They don’t “believe in” science. They don’t think something is actually happening with the environment/earth because of humans. The Republicans want to ruin your country. They are in favor of incompetence, buffoonery, and foolish tweets which they find amusing. They like bullying, lying or any other thuggery that advances their side. They want to go back to clothes hanger abortions in the alleyways. They support not having neither a domestic plan for COVID or anything else, nor a coherent foreign policy. They really think cozying to dictators and abusing allies is in America’s best interests. They are in favor of corruption in the administration. They support moving toward oligarchy, fascism, or despotism. They think you are lurking in the bushes waiting for an opportunity to do them physical harm when chaos breaks out. They want chaos. They cheer destruction of life and property in a protests that really are not about human rights. Your neighbors really like the current state of things today. They have completely lost their minds and abandoned their values.
Republicans: Your neighbors are satanic, pedophiliacs bent on upending democracy to create a Socialist society where everyone becomes a loafing, opioid ward of the state, funded by your hard-earned tax dollars. Your neighbors want systems to be gamed by welfare queens or others. They hate capitalism and the accumulation of wealth. They want to take away each-and-every one of your guns. They want to apologize for America all over the world, and especially to minorities who have every advantage tipped in their favor today. They want you to wait for years to see our favorite doctor. The Democrats want to ruin the country. Your neighbors really like the state of things today. Chaotic. Your neighbors prefer a multi-racial, LGBTQ, MeToo, snowflake state with no police officers, no national defense, and a society where education, childcare, healthcare, pot, and killing babies is free to all and funded by the state. They think you are lurking in the bushes waiting for the opportunity to do them harm when chaos breaks out. Are they crazy? They really do mean “defund” the police. They would rather see self-appointed militias of citizens armed with automatic weapons instead of police keeping order in the streets. Your neighbors have completely lost their minds and abandoned their values.
Really?
So which version of your neighbor down the street, the one mowing the lawn now, or the one whose shop you are considering not frequenting any more, which image is reality—the summary of cartoonish labels in the paragraphs above? The person you judge depending on whether they drive a fuel efficient micro car or a FULL Size truch? Which version would your social media, perhaps your chosen national media, and your candidate want you to believe? And ask yourself why?
Don’t forgot that, even those with whom you interact daily with whom you may not even share a language; you actually do know them accurately from your experience. The truth is much less dramatic than the hype. People are people. We have, for now, a very accepting, trusting, peaceful governance that allows commerce and social interactions to flow freely– but all that can become more rigid. It will be uncomfortable. The “They” that you are persuaded to fear, are a whole lot more like you than not like you.
So, whatever “side” you are on, aren’t we all tired of hearing these characterizations of our neighbors? Can we commit to not perpetuate the BS, even to counter it, gently among those we know? My humble recommendation, look around for yourself, put an asterisk on the COVID situation, realize we are in a time of historic change. There is a lot that needs to be improved, but on the whole, those who incite hate, division and violence are not in your interest. Make some real connections with those “others” whom your subconscious fears may be hiding in the bushes, and this too shall pass.
Don’t give up on an expectation that things can be better. They can be much better. We need to act in such a manner as to improve the situation, not contribute to the deterioration of what we share. Trust in the humanity of your neighbors, all of them.
